Have you ever considered why certain individuals exude elegance regardless of their clothing or the setting? I will save you the trouble; it doesn’t stem from expensive vacations or designer outfits. As with everything in life, it’s about the finer details. It’s the manners, the speech, the treatment others receive that affect someone’s perception. These actions, albeit small, determine how the world views you.
And to be honest, we’ve all experienced the cringe of reliving moments where bad habits like slouching or being tardy surfaced. The silver lining here? Branding yourself with an upper-class persona is a lot simpler than you think, and easier to achieve than you would have presumed.
For over a decade, I’ve tried to comprehend what makes individuals catch attention, be it in meetings, coffee shops, and other public places. Watching the transformation of several individuals and going through my own experiences like being perpetually late or chronically late have taught me that elegance is earned through deliberate practice and not gifted at birth.
In this article, I share my seven best tips to help individuals polish their demeanors and sharpen their social skills. Regardless of whether one has limited funds, a busy life, or is at the early stages of a career, every strategy mentioned can help leave a lasting impression. Are you ready to set the bar higher? Let’s jump in!
1. Command the Room with Your Nonverbal Communication Skills.
Your body makes its very first comments before you have even opened your mouth. Have you noticed how you tend to slouch in meetings or check your phone during chats? Yes, it’s revealing and familiar. The default postures people take can be quite telling as well. Slumped or rounded shoulders are perceived as retreating and suggest lack of confidence often conveying, I’m unsure, and constantly checking your phone sends the message I’m not really here. These small actions can spoil the vignette created by the best outfits.
The solution is easy, assuming posture, or standing tall with arms aside and head straight, conveys authority. Additionally, arms should not be crossed but put aside to remain welcoming. The way one makes use of eye contact is another aspect worth paying attention to; however, eye contact must be used in moderation. Using smooth, slow movements when speaking is much more effective than frantic gestures. Maintain this posture when socializing: emulate a person you appreciate and strive to exude the same composure they do, almost as if you’re training your body for better posture.
2. Speak Softly and Maintain a Controlled Volume
The description above paints an accurate picture—no one wants to see a person sitting confidently only to have the illusion shattered by shouting or nursery language during a business meeting. Sometimes I hear other people talking on the phone in a restaurant, at the top of their voice. Regardless of the context, the choice of words, volume, and tone is determined by the individual. A general introduction, so to speak.
Take note of the setting first before speaking. If it is a quiet dinner, then use a soft and warm tone. If it’s a boardroom, then aim for a clear and steady tone. Listening actively is another important aspect. Allow others to finish what they have to say before responding. Thoughtful and respectful communicators are perceived as more sophisticated.
Eliminate fillers such as profanity, like, um, and you know. Try having a casual conversation with a friend while recording its audio. The resulting sound will come as a shock but it is a great way to help you polish your delivery. Communication that is assertive yet polite demonstrates poise.
3. Be the person who is perpetually early.
I used to think chronic tardiness was a myth. Oftentimes I thought arriving five minutes late would not cause any harm, yet coming late to meetings and dinners broadcasted a message that my time was superior. The message is rather revealing, and apologizing does not help. Being punctual is a courtesy and also demonstrates that you are structured and disciplined. It’s not only courteous to be punctual, but doing so marks you out as organized and disciplined.
These are some suggestions to help you be punctual: check traffic ahead of set appointments, set alarms on your phone, and plan out your appointments so that you don’t get stuck in a time crunch. If you are fortunate enough to have spare time before the meeting, then try taking a moment to check your notes, breathe, or calm down before the rush of adrenaline kicks in. A big part of class is trust, and arriving on time helps build that trust.
4. Etiquette at the Table: Maintaining Appropriate Behavior
Table manners has importance at informal and formal settings. For my part, recalling the moment when my brunch acquaintance couldn’t seem to keep their jaw still is ah, interesting in retrospect. And awful all the same. Another example of this with cell phones would be scrolling through your social media add while attendees are eating, which makes others look at you with discomfort.
Posture is important along with intended focus, we also expect that you will use a napkin and eat with utensils rather properly. Maintaining focus on the social setting is equally important which means no phones out, hence social watch the host and the most polished individual.
For the case the other attendees are of a lower level than expected, they can check the Instagram page which serves as guidance listed for the visual learners out there alongside quick dining tips, serving every meal as if it were at a five-star dining facility.
5. Criticism and how to handle it
Every one of use responds to criticism a bit differently. Being told you did something wrong always hurts, but accept my proposal, the wrong proposal backlash. Handling feedback more often than not comes off as another category of maturity. The difference comes from the manner in which you respond, therefore steer clear from the defensiveness structure when responding to your coworker who’s pointing a colleague „warning bag in their direction.
Next time you are on the receiving end of constructive feedback, stop for a moment. Take a breath. Listen without interjecting. Even if you could disagree, respond with a Thanks for sharing, I will consider everything said. That calm response keeps the conversation flowing. If the feedback given is bound to be harsh or unfair, take the high road diplomatically and move on. Responding in a calm manner turns a tough moment into an opportunity to shine and stand out.
5. Replace the Brash Attitude, Accept Humility and Calm Rationality
Confidence is something people are naturally drawn to, while arrogance gives off quite the opposite vibe. It is common to see people brag about their new cars or drop big names at parties in order to impress, when in fact it does nothing for them. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Flaunting wealth or achievements often screams insecurity, not class.
True etiquette is discreet. It is advisable to share your merits organically, instead of trying to subdue others. If asked, be willing to answer while displaying genuine interest in what is being said, because that will make a person remembered for the right reasons. Whenever you feel the urge to show someone off, kindly take center stage and redirect the spotlight to compliment someone or tell a story that uplifts the group. When this is done, this humble person becomes the ultimate power.
7. Always Treat People with the Same Respect
This one is indisputable. No outfit or polished speech can mask rudeness. Some time ago, I found myself watching a woman scold a server in the middle of a tiny error and it completely changed my impression of this put-together lady. Classy people treat everyone kindly, and this is not limited to CEOs as even strangers are included.
Let me remind you to please and thank you often. Make sure to listen to other people even if you think their arguments are not correct. If you are feeling frustrated, take a deep breath before responding. Small deeds of generosity like smiling at a cashier or saying hi while entering or exiting a building help carve out your image as someone who enhances every space. Respect is the backbone of elegance.
These suggestions are not about achieving perfection, but instead serve as a guide towards new purposeful actions that will lead to better results. Class does not require a designer budget, a new closet brimming with clothes, or even expensive accessories. Consider starting with arriving a few minutes earlier than required or adjusting your body posture. Modify them as you see fit and observe the responses from those around you. The chance to showcase your courage and grace is already here, now is the time to seize that moment.
